Will a Doula Replace my Partner?

Doulas and partners make for a support dynamo! Doulas know birth; partners know the laboring mother.

A partner can wear a lot of hats: emotional rock, physical rock, parent of other children, keeper of the house, and host to visiting family or other house guests. In the event of a hospital transfer, he’s fielding questions about insurance and parking the car.

In the midst of this, it can be challenging to remember all that was learned in childbirth classes, know how to apply all the techniques at the right time, figure out what the laboring mother is going through, knowing if it is all normal...and having his own emotional experience as well. Phew!

I can guide the partner, suggest or model what to do and say, be a reference point and encyclopedia. Having a person in the specific doula role allows a partner to be comfortable in whatever his role is. I take care of the details so that the partner can focus solely on the mother. I can be more hands-on, allowing the partner to be the photographer, or take a break to eat. It is a collaborative team that best serves everyone involved. Sometimes this looks like me massaging your back for hours, and sometimes it looks like stepping out of the room and guarding your privacy with your partner while I do the dishes.